I have been trying to write every day and publish a blog post most days of the week, but my life hasn’t been cooperating! Just this morning I woke up at 4am to write my morning pages and to login to WordPress, but my littlest baby wasn’t too happy with that.
So I spent an hour and a half nursing her and trying to get her back to sleep. I was able to write my morning pages, pivot to my computer to write, and then my oldest woke up crying. He had the pukies yesterday and it looks like today might be a repeat. So I went upstairs and carried him down to get him settled with crackers, water, and a movie. Now I’m back at my desk and trying to remember why I put myself through this.
I need to focus on my goals: to write something most days of the week. Even if only five or ten minutes, I have been putting in the effort to put words on the page. This “publish a blog post most days of the week” is new and should not be my mindset. That’s crazy for me right now. I need to remember that. I started the year wanting a blog full of high quality posts and nothing that was thrown together just to make some self-imposed deadline. I can feel myself getting out of control.
So here’s my goal for the week: be thoughtful. Don’t just hit “publish” to feel like I’m accomplishing anything. PAUSE first. Does this post say anything? Does it meet any of my goals for this blog? If it’s just an effort to publish something, anything, then don’t click “publish.”
Today has been a great reminder of my word of the year – PAUSE. Think about my goals. Think about what’s important to me. Keep working towards that.
Well done, Katie. Wise, brave, and patient, to aim for self-reference and quality, rather than a kind of completion that is ultimately unsatisfying. Wishing you the time and space to get to your goals — and when that’s not possible, a peaceful pause!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jordy. But it’s hard! I just have to be mindful of the moment and practice radical acceptance. DBT for the win!