2019 is the year of the PAUSE! This year, I’m making an effort to wait a couple of heartbeats before making a decision or replying when something rubs me the wrong way. Of course, there are moments when I totally blow my lid or lie without meaning to, but I think I’m becoming a bit more mindful, day by day.
Earlier this week I wrote about how difficult it’s been for me to wake up to write my morning pages, even though I really want to work this back into my routine. Usually when my alarm goes off, I automatically push snooze without even thinking. The morning after I started to draft that blog post, I made myself PAUSE when the alarm rang and weighed the pros and cons of getting up:
PROS of getting up right now: If I’m lucky, I’ll have about an hour to myself before anyone else wakes up; I should be able to bang out my morning pages and feel good about myself; I might even get a little more writing done after my morning pages that I can feel proud of; I can have a cup of that coffee that I smell; I’m already halfway awake, the rest of my sleep won’t be as restful anyway.
CONS of getting up right now: It’s cold – about 3*F; I’m cuddly with my husband and my baby, this is precious time; There’s no guarantee that everyone else will stay asleep and I’ll get anything done (in which case, I’ll have to get out of bed anyway, so maybe that’s a pro and not a con); I’m sleepy.
Even in my sleepy haze, it was clear that it made more sense to get out of bed. I poured a cup of coffee, I flipped a couple of tarot cards, and I started writing. My littlest birdie didn’t wake up until nearly 6 and my middlest bug stayed in bed until around 6:45, so I had time to write my morning pages, tweak a couple of blog drafts, and think about this looming manuscript that I’m getting closer and closer to just jumping into.
Time by myself? To think without interruption? I don’t even know what that is anymore – but I’m so glad that I stopped, thought, and made a mindful decision before pushing the snooze button this morning.
…Now, if I could just remember to pause before putting books on my library hold list, I might actually be able to manage some of this anxiety!